Starting a New Blog Series on Life Advice

A Brief Note

I decided to start a new series on life advice, sharing insights and thoughts that I came across in my life and which I found valuable. This could be anything from personal reflections upon years later, to advice and opinions from interviews or podcasts with successful individuals, or even just random thoughts on social media and from casual personal conversations.

This is the first post of the series, and I urgently hope to jot them down somewhere to keep myself always informed, and for self look-back later. If you find them resonate with you in some way, it’s even better.

Something I Learnt Recently

Do not take life too seriously.

I mean, why is this a big deal? Isn’t it something that people naturally know? Why would somebody complicate their life and not want to chill out? Why did i bring it up here? Am I someone who does take life very seriously? And what caused my sudden realisation of its harm and decided to make a change?

Well, a short background to the story: I am in a circle of friends who are all ambitious and adacious young achievers, many of whom have taken initiatives to run their own media channels, as opinion outlets to the world. The story I am about to share is about one of them, a second-degree connection to me in this circle.

There is a quite well-known channel on [hidden to prevent identity disclosure] hosted by a twin sister, “well-known” at least in the sense of the not-too-niche education space. I followed them for a while without knowing they were acquaintances of a close friend. They are very good business women, selling key points about women empowerment and their personal achievements. I once firmly believed – now also to some extent – that they have very special abilities and personal traits that make them successful – if you also agree that having 2 million+ followers is a valid indicator. But being a sketic, I am comfortable to being judgemental and dissecting success story that gives people nerves. Indeed, I found them noisy sometimes, their content shaky without a solid backing that can stand the test of time, and their past somewhat controversial.

But, how could they still stand firm and not yet get challenged and turned down by the public? Something indeed is special about them – they are always passionate, highly positive, proactive, preparative ahead of time and opportunistic. These are traits that only the boldest people would have, and almost the exact opposite to what a perfectionist would look like – some personality I cannot be more familiar with.

To me, the first obvious tradeoff of being a perfectionist is that it causes a great loss of opportunities, because you will be in a constant fear of failures and being judged by others. It is a self-imposed prison that keeps us from trying out new things, taking risks, or just living your life to the fullest. On work, it ended up with me having the two extremes of either performing almost perfectly or not at all. And this is a pain for daily tasks that often only require 60-80% commitment, because the lack of preparation embarrasses me so often that made me doubt myself if ever I could do something as well as my peers. Also, it deters me from ever starting new works if I don’t feel I can do them perfectly – another form of procrastination as well. On relationships, which have more obvious manifestations of this trait, it keeps me from comfortably smiling to people I may not know well, and that can cost a ton when you are trying to make new friends. I have been estranged from many people who are also just known to each other many times before, because of me always appearing as too shy, reserved or even a bit terrified in front of them.

My History with Perfectionism

I mean, why would I ever end up being a perfectionist? Of course I do want to live my life easily. If you are aware, “Our past shapes who we are today.” Growing up in a family and a society that despises underperformance.

Key Message

We only live once, and if we think too much before taking action, we might miss out on a lot of opportunities. That is true for both work and life.

Feel free to share your own advice or experiences in the comments below!